i wish someone told me this stuff when i first moved to LA, so here it is, a manual of sorts:
1. you dont need a 'reason' to start talking to someone at a bar or a party, or even a have subject of discussion in mind. just say hi and ask for a cigarette. the standard exchange rate is 15 seconds of conversation per cigarette. its common courtesy to extend this to up to 1 minute if you also need a light. if they offer you their bag of 'rollies' you may have made a new friend for the night.
2. unless you know the person youre talking to very well and are not within earshot of anyone else, do not voice any opinion that doesnt involve the word "good" "rad" or "amazing" about anything or anybody. remember, you are a judgement-free open-minded egalitarian vessel into which all mediated experiences continually flow, with an autodidactic awareness/complete disregard for Euro-centric aesthetic hierarchies and notions of authenticity.
3. discussing (or rather, listing) restaurants and the different types of food they serve is totally acceptable conversation for up to 10 minutes. this is a valuable social tool because it puts people at ease by reminding them of their grandma and thanksgiving and warm fuzzy stuff like that. i think we can all agree that food tastes good.
4. do not bring up politics or current events. this will require people to voice possibly 'un-chill' opinions, which is something that most LA residents will avoid doing at all costs. having the 'wrong' opinion on something might alienate you from potential future business connections within the group. regurgitating the minutia of upcoming indie film and music events is fine, as well as 'geeking out' over obscure music trivia (if you are in a group of guys). guys love that shit.
5. do not talk about TV, even if you work in TV. also, you probably knows this already but there is an official moratorium on conversations about shows/cartoons/movies/bands from the 80s.
6. in general, affect guile-less vacuousness as your default persona. try to pretend that your IQ is 20 points lower than it really is, and assume the person you're speaking to is doing the same thing.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
mission: quite possible
hey everybody! i want to thank everyone for your support: thanks to you, silverlake-free radio is now a reality. i havent heard the silversun pickups on the radio in months, and great northern and airborne toxic event are playing ice skating rinks and dog racing tracks (are state fairs next? only toad the wet sprocket knows for sure). gangi has run out of stickers. major labels are dropping silverlake bands left and right. everythings going to be ok.
on a personal note, i have pretty much stopped going to shitty shows. i cant remember the last 'free night' i attended, or the last time i saw the parson redheads (granted, they are audio taco bell in the sense that they stay in your system for less than 3 hours). nowadays i mostly just see bands i already like, which cuts my shows-per-month down from a stupefying 12 (when i started this blog) to a more manageable 4 (when i got a job).
sometimes i wonder if im missing out on 'hidden gems'; artists who are too crazy or old to have a myspace page. but honestly, who has the time? i mean, besides me 6 months ago.
on a personal note, i have pretty much stopped going to shitty shows. i cant remember the last 'free night' i attended, or the last time i saw the parson redheads (granted, they are audio taco bell in the sense that they stay in your system for less than 3 hours). nowadays i mostly just see bands i already like, which cuts my shows-per-month down from a stupefying 12 (when i started this blog) to a more manageable 4 (when i got a job).
sometimes i wonder if im missing out on 'hidden gems'; artists who are too crazy or old to have a myspace page. but honestly, who has the time? i mean, besides me 6 months ago.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
hip pain
Causes of Hip Pain:
Noticing a guy at a show wearing the t-shirt of the band playing the show, and feeling embarassed for him, and for yourself for even caring.
Someone with short gelled hair stops to ask you for directions to a mainstream nightclub, and you know the way.
Someone with short gelled hair stops to ask you for directions to a place you described as your 'favorite new bar' last week.
You lose your copy of a 'classic' indie album but don't dare to buy it again cause you'll look like a snot-nosed newbie at the record store.
You go to your family reunion wearing your hippest clothes and your family just thinks you're gay now.
You show up to your new favorite "secret" ethnic restaurant and there is another hipster already there, eating by himself. He pretends not to notice you, but acts overtly friendly to the ethnic waitstaff.
Noticing a guy at a show wearing the t-shirt of the band playing the show, and feeling embarassed for him, and for yourself for even caring.
Someone with short gelled hair stops to ask you for directions to a mainstream nightclub, and you know the way.
Someone with short gelled hair stops to ask you for directions to a place you described as your 'favorite new bar' last week.
You lose your copy of a 'classic' indie album but don't dare to buy it again cause you'll look like a snot-nosed newbie at the record store.
You go to your family reunion wearing your hippest clothes and your family just thinks you're gay now.
You show up to your new favorite "secret" ethnic restaurant and there is another hipster already there, eating by himself. He pretends not to notice you, but acts overtly friendly to the ethnic waitstaff.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
part time hatin
every once in a great while, someone accidentally publishes what a guy with nothing to lose has to say.
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/postrock/2009/03/sxsw_leftovers_talkin_expletiv.html
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/postrock/2009/03/sxsw_leftovers_talkin_expletiv.html
Saturday, May 16, 2009
we don't refer to the past
my source at the door informed me that it was a new band either featuring members of rancid or a new signing to rancid's record label, or both. i guess they were playing a super cool secret show on the east side! there were some out-of place OC/melrose types in bondage pants hanging around with manic panic highlights and nose piercings.
the whole thing made me wonder, do these people actually like this music? they could be listening to literally anything else. if you have the internet, even if youre too young to drive to a record store you can hear pretty much any song in the world for free in about 30 seconds. you dont have to listen to your big brothers offspring CDs anymore guys!
the whole thing made me wonder, do these people actually like this music? they could be listening to literally anything else. if you have the internet, even if youre too young to drive to a record store you can hear pretty much any song in the world for free in about 30 seconds. you dont have to listen to your big brothers offspring CDs anymore guys!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
thanks a lot sufjan
today is 'record store day'.
am i NOT supposed to feel cynical about this? its so innocent, like 'ice cream day' or something. but really you know its just about selling more shit.
but maybe thats what this country needs right now: more people buying shit they dont really need. did all holidays start this way? a few big businesses (or churches) got together during tough times and made up a 'holiday' that fed into the collective unconcious desire for hedonistic polytheistic/pagan-style mass gatherings? people at a party will act like they believe anything you say as long as it keeps the party going.
am i NOT supposed to feel cynical about this? its so innocent, like 'ice cream day' or something. but really you know its just about selling more shit.
but maybe thats what this country needs right now: more people buying shit they dont really need. did all holidays start this way? a few big businesses (or churches) got together during tough times and made up a 'holiday' that fed into the collective unconcious desire for hedonistic polytheistic/pagan-style mass gatherings? people at a party will act like they believe anything you say as long as it keeps the party going.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
tvotwtf?
looks like courtney love shoulda gone to freecreditreport.com
poor lil frances bean.
i read in a book with a lot of pictures in it that kurt and courtney lived in LA for a year around the time 'nevermind' came out. the book had some photos of them and baby frances in their little bare-walled apartment in koreatown or wherever it was, all happy and scruffy in their pajamas. it was pretty surreal to see how small and intimate their life seemed compared to what was going on in kurt's career at the time, and the media feeding frenzy that was right around the corner.
i wonder if when they lived here they ever went out in silverlake and saw some shitty bands. if so, what sort of shitty bands were 'around' in LA back then?
since 'grunge' hadnt happened yet was it all hair metal bands and a pre-record deal weezer? (is the fact that weezer even dared to exist in a hair metal-and-punk-dominated LA actually incredible in retrospect?) or were they hip enough to go see pre-record deal beck play a leaf-blower at some silverlake coffeeshop? were there tons of record collector bands playing jangly college pop, or was OC/long beach pop-punk/ska and hardcore the only visible alternative? so many questions. aging LA natives, feel free to chime in.
i also just realized that this week marked the 15th anniversary of kurt's suicide. miss ya buddy! your band totally didnt suck. but your wife's did.
poor lil frances bean.
i read in a book with a lot of pictures in it that kurt and courtney lived in LA for a year around the time 'nevermind' came out. the book had some photos of them and baby frances in their little bare-walled apartment in koreatown or wherever it was, all happy and scruffy in their pajamas. it was pretty surreal to see how small and intimate their life seemed compared to what was going on in kurt's career at the time, and the media feeding frenzy that was right around the corner.
i wonder if when they lived here they ever went out in silverlake and saw some shitty bands. if so, what sort of shitty bands were 'around' in LA back then?
since 'grunge' hadnt happened yet was it all hair metal bands and a pre-record deal weezer? (is the fact that weezer even dared to exist in a hair metal-and-punk-dominated LA actually incredible in retrospect?) or were they hip enough to go see pre-record deal beck play a leaf-blower at some silverlake coffeeshop? were there tons of record collector bands playing jangly college pop, or was OC/long beach pop-punk/ska and hardcore the only visible alternative? so many questions. aging LA natives, feel free to chime in.
i also just realized that this week marked the 15th anniversary of kurt's suicide. miss ya buddy! your band totally didnt suck. but your wife's did.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
sxsw report: i didnt go to sxsw
i havent posted anything in over a week. i'd apologize for that, but in actuality its a good thing.
no posts here means that i, a person who goes out several nights a week, have not seen any horrible shows in LA. the shows i HAVE seen, generally speaking, were at least decent if not revelatory. barring a few questionable wardrobe choices, ive seen mostly respectable people expressing themselves honestly and creatively, if not very well.
my theory is that all the assholes are down at SXSW this week.
that all ends this weekend though. welcome home, careerist douches!
im just kidding, i missed you guys. i wanna hear stories!
no posts here means that i, a person who goes out several nights a week, have not seen any horrible shows in LA. the shows i HAVE seen, generally speaking, were at least decent if not revelatory. barring a few questionable wardrobe choices, ive seen mostly respectable people expressing themselves honestly and creatively, if not very well.
my theory is that all the assholes are down at SXSW this week.
that all ends this weekend though. welcome home, careerist douches!
im just kidding, i missed you guys. i wanna hear stories!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
theyll never make it, theres no girls in here
i went to the echo on 'free night' again. this time, i met up with two of my fellow haters (though we all hate different things differently). we spent most of the night outside on the smoking patio, chatting about dallas and crazy characters and weird girls thereabouts. it was easy to pay as little attention to the music as possible.
coincidentally enough, the bands on the bill that night were that rare PERFECT mix of highly listenable and totally ignorable. this allowed me to enjoy my evening of paying $7 for cups of warm beer. thanks free night!
depending on where the sound guy was, there were sometimes up to five dudes in plaid flannel shirts on stage. there was just something about the combination of beanies, flannels, collared plaid button ups, over-emotive shouting and a cute girl bassists in the room that night that just made me want to never listen to a superchunk record ever again.
the 2nd to last band seemed like it could have been good, but for some reason just wasnt. was it nerves? singing keyboard players shouldnt sit center stage facing the audience. even freddie mercury didnt do that, and that dude did everything!
coincidentally enough, the bands on the bill that night were that rare PERFECT mix of highly listenable and totally ignorable. this allowed me to enjoy my evening of paying $7 for cups of warm beer. thanks free night!
depending on where the sound guy was, there were sometimes up to five dudes in plaid flannel shirts on stage. there was just something about the combination of beanies, flannels, collared plaid button ups, over-emotive shouting and a cute girl bassists in the room that night that just made me want to never listen to a superchunk record ever again.
the 2nd to last band seemed like it could have been good, but for some reason just wasnt. was it nerves? singing keyboard players shouldnt sit center stage facing the audience. even freddie mercury didnt do that, and that dude did everything!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Your Friends' Favorite Generic Silverlake Indie Pop Band
Hey guys. Remember when I posted THIS?:
Ultra-generic Silverlake indie pop bands. Where to begin? First, lets establish the pointless, self-absorbed and incredibly contrived content of their "songs". I don't know if it's Rilo Kiley's fault or Weezer 's or Elliott Smith's, but there isn't a single original songwriting voice in an entire scene based on "singer-songwriters".
Then there are the "country via Dylan via indie pop" rootsy cutesy bands. I don't know why, but there's usually at least one girl with a great dress collection and a guy with a beard involved. Listening to anything by the Parson Redheads, to name one of many, is akin to listening to room-temperature milk evaporating. I swear to God, one of their songs combines the chorus melody of "Mr. Tambourine Man" and the verse melody of "Blowin' in the Wind." I remember standing there in the near-empty room on some free night, in awe of the balls that guy must have to try and pass that off as his own song.
The main problem may be the blatant and homogenous hero worship that goes on in these bands. Maybe if Elliott Smith was still alive all these 3rd stringers wouldn't have the guts to get up on stage and jerk off to themselves. Imagine a world without Gavin Rossdales!
You know your scene's in trouble when the "successful" band is a Smashing Pumpkins sound-alike, and the band with "art cred", Autolux, hasn't released an album since 2004. Great Northern, Sea Wolf, Airborne Toxic Event, and many many more epitomize this self-congratulatory, kidding-themselves-and-each-other scene. The good news is, it seems like younger people have stopped forming this type of band in the last couple of years.
Well later is right now!For those of you who aren't familiar with east side LA rock club schedules, Monday nights are when you can get into the Echo, Spaceland, and the Silverlake Lounge for free and check out a tightly-packed bill invariably consisting of some combination of:A) ultra-generic silverlake indie pop bands (more on these later)
Ultra-generic Silverlake indie pop bands. Where to begin? First, lets establish the pointless, self-absorbed and incredibly contrived content of their "songs". I don't know if it's Rilo Kiley's fault or Weezer 's or Elliott Smith's, but there isn't a single original songwriting voice in an entire scene based on "singer-songwriters".
Then there are the "country via Dylan via indie pop" rootsy cutesy bands. I don't know why, but there's usually at least one girl with a great dress collection and a guy with a beard involved. Listening to anything by the Parson Redheads, to name one of many, is akin to listening to room-temperature milk evaporating. I swear to God, one of their songs combines the chorus melody of "Mr. Tambourine Man" and the verse melody of "Blowin' in the Wind." I remember standing there in the near-empty room on some free night, in awe of the balls that guy must have to try and pass that off as his own song.
The main problem may be the blatant and homogenous hero worship that goes on in these bands. Maybe if Elliott Smith was still alive all these 3rd stringers wouldn't have the guts to get up on stage and jerk off to themselves. Imagine a world without Gavin Rossdales!
You know your scene's in trouble when the "successful" band is a Smashing Pumpkins sound-alike, and the band with "art cred", Autolux, hasn't released an album since 2004. Great Northern, Sea Wolf, Airborne Toxic Event, and many many more epitomize this self-congratulatory, kidding-themselves-and-each-other scene. The good news is, it seems like younger people have stopped forming this type of band in the last couple of years.
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