how to socialize in echo park/silverlake

i wish someone told me this stuff when i first moved to LA, so here it is, a manual of sorts:

1. you dont need a 'reason' to start talking to someone at a bar or a party, or even a have subject of discussion in mind. just say hi and ask for a cigarette. the standard exchange rate is 15 seconds of conversation per cigarette. its common courtesy to extend this to up to 1 minute if you also need a light. if they offer you their bag of 'rollies' you may have made a new friend for the night.

2. unless you know the person youre talking to very well and are not within earshot of anyone else, do not voice any opinion that doesnt involve the word "good" "rad" or "amazing" about anything or anybody. remember, you are a judgement-free open-minded egalitarian vessel into which all mediated experiences continually flow, with an autodidactic awareness/complete disregard for Euro-centric aesthetic hierarchies and notions of authenticity.

3. discussing (or rather, listing) restaurants and the different types of food they serve is totally acceptable conversation for up to 10 minutes. this is a valuable social tool because it puts people at ease by reminding them of their grandma and thanksgiving and warm fuzzy stuff like that. i think we can all agree that food tastes good.

4. do not bring up politics or current events. this will require people to voice possibly 'un-chill' opinions, which is something that most LA residents will avoid doing at all costs. having the 'wrong' opinion on something might alienate you from potential future business connections within the group. regurgitating the minutia of upcoming indie film and music events is fine, as well as 'geeking out' over obscure music trivia (if you are in a group of guys). guys love that shit.

5. do not talk about TV, even if you work in TV. also, you probably knows this already but there is an official moratorium on conversations about shows/cartoons/movies/bands from the 80s.

6. in general, affect guile-less vacuousness as your default persona. try to pretend that your IQ is 20 points lower than it really is, and assume the person you're speaking to is doing the same thing.